Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
