just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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