at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
