All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
