You work out of a Hotel?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
