This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
