you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
