Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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