If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm both gender and math confused
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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