Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
