Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
