ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
