your thong is hanging out like whoa
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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