and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
But theres a keg here and me gusta
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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