Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
