I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
