just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize