Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
