vagina is talking i cant
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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