JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
