He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
