I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
