Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We need to get me chipped asap
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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