I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
