She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
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