now i know why i became what i already was.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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