come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
