he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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