the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I checked into jail on foursquare
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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