My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
