Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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