Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
