i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
