She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
