I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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