mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize