We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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