I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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