its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize