He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
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Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
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You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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