I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize