her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize