Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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