she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
