Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Randomize
