Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
