if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize