I'm going to jail i love you
kristin has been a bad kristin
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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