I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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