She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
