My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
