I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
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You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
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everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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