Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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