Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
