I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
