Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
