Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
